Today, as usual, I stood at the intersection I often go to, looking at the pedestrians coming and going. There was nothing worth paying attention to on the street, it was as ordinary as a boring afternoon. But I still think this city is very interesting, and life is full of absurdity, especially my life.
I know that I don’t have a clear goal like those busy people. Instead, I live like a lost traveler every day, and stop from time to time to think: Why do I live like this? Is life supposed to be so boring and hopeless?
I have a friend named Xiaolin, who is always energetic and full of purpose. Every time I see him, his eyes are full of “what I am pursuing”. He is the kind of person who can work hard for a certain goal, always do his best at work, and seems to live a very fulfilling life. But one time, he suddenly said to me: “You know? I found that I don’t understand why I am so busy. It seems that I have been pursuing something, but I just can’t catch it.”
At that time, I looked at him, feeling a little confused, and asked: “What are you pursuing?”
He smiled and rubbed his forehead: “I don’t know. I think life should be heading in a certain direction, but I have been walking for so long and found that I have been going around in circles.”
I didn’t understand it at the time, until today, I gradually understood the feeling of “going around in circles” he said. What is the meaning of life? Is it those achievements recognized by society? Is it owning a house, a car, or even travel photos that can be shown in Moments? Are these the “success” we are pursuing, our goals? Seemingly clear goals, after continuous efforts and efforts, often become a new emptiness in the end.
Xiaolin seemed to be aware of this problem, so at a party, he decided to put down all his disguises and talk about his true feelings: “I don’t know what I am fighting for. Every effort is just to fill the void, as if the goal is a black hole, the deeper I chase, until I completely lose my direction.”
I looked at him and suddenly felt that I was lost in this huge city like him. We always live under the “success” standard defined by others, pursuing things that seem to prove ourselves, but forgetting what we really want. I think that people live in this world, I am afraid not only to achieve the goals that others think are right, maybe everyone lives to find their own meaning.
I dare not deny that I have had that impulse, and I used to be obsessed with proving myself and pursuing the so-called “success”. At that time, I lived like a hunter who was always chasing something every day. The desire to chase was so strong that I didn’t even feel tired. I believe that as long as I work hard, I will reach the place I want to go one day.
However, as time goes by, I gradually understand that this kind of pursuit is like a bubble floating in the air, beautiful and tempting, but always out of reach. I began to realize that what I was pursuing was not success itself, but to make myself feel less empty through “success”.
After Xiaolin’s dream of getting rich overnight was shattered, he began to become silent. He once felt that he was just a bystander in life. In the process of people chasing their goals, he began to feel at a loss. Even if he worked harder, made more money, and drank with a group of successful colleagues, he still knew in his heart that the “goal” he was pursuing seemed to be getting farther and farther away from him.
I also began to reflect on whether I was lost on this road. We have always believed that we can prove our value in busyness and that having more material things can bring more satisfaction, but everything seems not so simple. Even on a weekend morning, I was walking on the road and suddenly realized: the life of each of us is a gamble of constant adjustment. No matter how hard you work, there will always be some uncertain factors that push you in different directions.
I think, maybe we are really living too fast, eager to prove ourselves, eager to pursue those impetuous goals, but never really stop to ask ourselves what we really want. In this environment of quick success and instant benefits, life seems to become more and more quick success and instant benefits. Everyone is running for a goal that seems to be never reached, while their real needs and the voice in their hearts have long been buried.
Suddenly, I feel that life should not be so hurried. I am no longer in a hurry to find a goal to pursue, nor do I force myself to become better. People live in this world for a long time, and only then will they find that the most important thing in the world is to live soberly, live in a self-consistent way, and live a comfortable life. And this kind of life does not require too much external evaluation, nor does it require too much material rewards. You just need to be able to really like it.
Xiaolin said that he understood that the meaning of life is not to strive for external evaluation, but to find the real self, and no longer give up the life you want in pursuit of success in the eyes of others. We may have been living very tired, but who stipulates that we cannot live freely? Living under the standard of “success” may be doomed to be hopeless. Only by letting go of those impetuous goals can we gain real freedom.
Xiaolin and I both know that we may not have the answer on this road, but at least we understand that life does not have to be so painful or tiring. Perhaps, slowing down and listening carefully to the voice of our hearts is what we really need.